I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
I'm really busy with my period
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