I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
