sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
