Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
