The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
