You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
