your parents love me but you hate me
Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
