When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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