Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
