two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
