Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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