pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
50% drunk capacity currently
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
