i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
