my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
