It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
