just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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