we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
This is my life. Enjoy the view
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
