Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
