It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
