The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
