Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
