what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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