"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
