May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
