apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
