She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
