now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
