after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
