Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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