just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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