Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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