I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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