508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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