i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
