I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
