i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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