I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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