at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
