I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
