my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Randomize
