like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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