When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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