In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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