Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
