We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
