Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
