ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
