Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
