Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
