I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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