I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
