i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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